Hey All: Rather than are you normal, it should ask are you averag? First, you should know that useless statistics were up 5 percent last month. If it weren't...
Where's Mommy? One evening after dinner, a five-year-old boy noticed that his mother had gone out and he asked his father, "Where did mommy go?" In answer to...
To: Joke A Day Ministries From: Keith Todd <ktodd@...> Subject: Homilies/I Am A Soldier Cc: Bcc: X-Attachments: Homilies To Live By Give a person a fish...
Perfect Mate At a meeting of the church women's group, a young woman was expounding on her idea of the perfect mate to some of her friends. "The man I marry...
Signs That You're at a Bad (Outdoor) Baptismal Service 10. The entire congregation is invited to "join in the fun." 9. The Coast Guard is somehow involved. ...
Actual Bible College quotes 2000! "We need to be fried raisers rather than being fund raisers." (for "fried" read "friend") "We must bare each others burdens."...
The Perfect Pastor: 1. Preaches exactly 20 minutes and follows it with an invitation in which everyone is convicted but no one is offended. 2. Works from 7:00...
Missed Call My daughter Marina worked in my law office while she attended graduate school. One morning a call came in for her. I said she wasn't in yet and...
Signs You're Too Old to Be Trick or Treating 10. You get winded from knocking on the door. 9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. 8. You ask...
"You know you're Overdoing Halloween when..." you're pestered all year by kids who want to know what the theme for THIS year is? you find yourself thinking...
Eating Free After 30 days of living in a tent during an Air Force training exercise, another officer and I were driving back to our home base, nine hours away....
BABIES: Child 1, child 2, child 3 I know some of you never made it to 3 but think you'll get a kick out of this anyway. really like it! Being a parent...
Sermon Fodder's Original Pulpit Bloopers Part X Our piano player was ill and unable to attend worship service. The pastor announced we would all be singing...
Christian Greeting Cards When confronted with a Goliath-size problem, which way do you respond-- "He's too big to hit", or like David, "He's too big to miss"?...
For A Change A woman's husband asked her what she wanted for her birthday. She thought for a moment and said, "This year I just want cold, hard cash for a...
The Inscription My wife and I received a lovely trophy as a wedding gift from a friend. But upon closer inspection, we noticed that the plaque seemed to reveal...
The Internet Pledge Are you BRAVE enough to take the Internet pledge!! 1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my newspaper like I used to,...
Zoo Denomination This past Saturday I took my three children to the zoo. My middle child was busy explaining about all the animals to her younger sister. ...
Quarter Rush On a busy Friday night at the restaurant where I'd recently started waiting tables, the owner suddenly emerged from the kitchen and handed me...
Football Time After spending all day Sunday watching football on television, a man fell asleep and spent the night in the chair. His wife woke him in the...
A Winner! In a misguided burst of creativity, I installed a night-light into a conch shell I found on the beach. My wife took an instant dislike to it, and at...
Busy Farmer A very zealous young preacher set out to win his first soul for the Lord. He came upon a Farmer busily working in his field. Being concerned...
GIFTS FOR MEN 101 Buying gifts for men is not nearly as complicated as it is for women. Follow these basic rules and you should have no problems. Rule #1: When...
Triviata There are over 58 million dogs in the U.S! Dogs and cats consume over $11 billion worth of pet food a year! Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster...
New Martial Art While attending college, I worked evenings at a retail store. On slow nights my co-worker Susan would often sing along with the radio while we...
Signs Your Wedding Day Isn't Going as Planned (Part I) 35> The minister has the flu and has to excuse himself two or three times during the service to go to...
A Do It Yourself Job My husband's skills with do-it-yourself home repairs are at best mediocre. After spending several evenings trying to fix a leak in the...
A Do It Yourself Job My husband's skills with do-it-yourself home repairs are at best mediocre. After spending several evenings trying to fix a leak in the...
What To Do With Thanksgiving Leftovers Seal them in concrete and call it a time capsule. Send it to the Smithsonian with instructions to open in 3004. Mix...
Things to do Thanksgiving Day {if you want to be excused early} 1. Announce that you would like to start a new family tradition, and proceed to take off your ...
